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Thursday, May 21, 2015

15 Things Writers Do That Drive Their Family Nuts

A word of caution: If you're thinking of dating or marrying a writer, you might want to bypass reading this list until after the deed is done. Muah-ha-ha!

1. They own a large collection of pens and notebooks that no one is allowed to touch, or all hell will break loose.

2. Their writing desk contains a haphazard mix of the following items: Empty coffee mugs with sticky rings on the inside, pens and more pens, mail or overdue notices that haven’t been opened in three months, a bottle of Tums, post-it notes at every turn, and room for the token writing cat or small pet.

3. They will correct your grammar with a red pen, even love notes. 

4. They can think of 101 gruesome ways to kill people. Don’t freak out. Trust me…they’ve done the research. They know.

5. They're not quiet… just plotting.

6. They will argue over the fact that coffee is a food group. Take my advice…don’t argue… 'cause it is.

7. They have already imagined you in a car wreck, kidnapped and bound under a dark and musty basement, or abducted by aliens, i
f you fail to call when you’re running late. So spare yourself the drama…CALL.

8. They will ruin every movie you want to watch by revealing its climactic end within the first five minutes of watching it.

9. They like to hold conversations with people who don’t exist. Of course it’s not crazy to have a lifetime pact with imaginary friends. Are you kidding me?

10. Observing is not nosy to them. It’s a sixth sense.

11. They hate the thought of a “REAL. JOB.” They're not lazy, just want to spare the genius mind from dying from a slow and agonizing death that comes from having a 9-5 


12. You repeat yourself often as you find yourself competing with the plethora of plots, sub plots, and character developments they have swimming in their heads.

13.The space-time continuum, and everyone on it, ceases to exist when the muse awakens.

14. If you tick the writer off, anything you say, CAN and WILL, be used against you in a story.

15. And finally, if you deeply offend the writer, expect to get killed off in the middle of a very anti-climactic plot from a gruesome death that the writer pulls out of the "101 ways to die" hat.

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